Welcome to Minnesota

Alright, so today I'm going to over everything that I've learned or haven't learned while living the past three years here in Minnesota.

What high school did you go to?
Well that's the first or second question that I would get when I first moved here. I've never known such a place that Woodbury/Edina/Eden Prairie are such a status symbol for me to be important.

You're from NY? Well, you don't have an accent.
Well, thanks for being correct. Sorry for not sounding like someone from Westchester, Queens, Brooklyn, or Long Island. For a little geography lesson, there is more to NY than NYC. I actually grew up four hours from NYC. And by the way, I don't have gold chains or velour track suits (well only one).

The "U"
Let's get one thing straight. The "U" is The University of Miami. It always will be. The "U" is that school's logo. No one else can say that. The University of Minnesota is not "The U." University of Wisconsin is not considered "the U" in that state. The University of Washington is called "U-Dub.' The University of Arizona is called the "U of A." I could go on but I don't want to bore with any more college nicknames.

35E and 35W
Here in Minnesota we have 35E and 35W as highways through the Twin Cities. You would think that 35E would run to the east and 35W would run to the west. Nope, they run North-South. I figured it out after a while but it certainly can become confusing for people coming in. 35E runs North-South on the East of the Twin Cities and 35W runs North-South on the West of the Twin Cities.

I've never been to the State Hockey Playoffs
This is a prime attraction here in the state. Whole towns come and follow their teams when they get to Xcel here in St. Paul. Students at the school get an excused absence from school in order to attend their team's game. It's that important here. All the games are televised, it's like Texas high school football.

No I don't like the Twinkies
"I wish we had all the money in the world to spend on free agents and buy our championships." Oh enough of that crap. Just because the Twins owner is cheap and would rather put money in his pockets instead of spending it on free agents, don't blame the Yankees for trying to put a great product on the field all the time. So now that they have this new stadium, they have created more revenue to spend on the free agent market. So, they spent a boatload of money to keep Joe Mauer in his home state and guess what happens. He gets hurt and he'll never be the player he once was. Plus, no one wants to play here because it's too damn cold.

This new stadium is awesome
Well, not really. It's like every other new stadium. It's nice but it doesn't "wow" me like other stadiums have. I'm not saying it isn't nice but what about separates it from all the other new parks? And don't say the skyline of Minneapolis because all you basically see is the ugly Target Center. Go to the parks in Pittsburgh or Baltimore and they "wow" you. That's what a new park is supposed to do. Also, with this unpredictable weather why wouldn't you put a retrackable roof on the stadium? I would agree with most people that during the summer it's better to be outside but when it's snowing in April and maybe October, you don't want to postpone games because we are in the great white north. I can't comment on the new Yankee Stadium but from what everyone else has said, it's ridiculous. Especially if this guy has anything to say about it.

You haven't been to a Wild game?
No, I haven't. You want to know why? Because I'm a basketball coach, I watch basketball. I do have access to tickets any time I want and I don't go because it doesn't really interest me. Maybe if the Mark Messier led New York Rangers come to town I'll go. Does he play anymore?

The Land of 10,000 Lakes
Not so fast my friend. I wouldn't consider a body of water that I could easily swim across a lake. That is what I like to call a pond. Apparently, there are a lot of lakes up north. I've seen Lake Mill Lacs (I might have the lake in the wrong spot) is an actually lake. When I drove up that way, I couldn't see the other side. I don't think I could swim across it.

Turn Signal
As most of the native Minnesotans know, people here don't like to use their turn signals when driving and it drives me nuts. When turning right or left, you are supposed to flip the turn signal up or down in your car in order to let the person behind you know that you will be turning shortly.

Yield Sign
A Yield sign means to proceed with caution. Much like a yellow light. If you have a lane to yourself there really isn't a need to slow down or stop at a yield sign considering that you have the right away in that lane. I don't know how many times I've completely stopped at a yield sign because the idiot in front of me decided they couldn't proceed with no cars in front of them in their own lane. There are times that I want to give a Macho Man Randy Savage (rest his soul) elbow drop to some of the drivers here.

Minnesota State Fair
I had my first fair experience this past summer. It didn't exactly live up to all the hype. Was it good for people watching? It definitely was, I got to see some of Minnesota's finest and it made me laugh. I can people watch sitting in my office, I don't need to pay $9 to see a bunch of weirdos.

Minnesota "Nice"
When I usually explain to people what my feelings are on what Minnesota Nice really is, they usually laugh or get really defensive, so here I go. I'll give an example to explain it, it's much easier that way. Let's say you are a Minnetonka HS grad and you graduated from there in 2001. You are out in Uptown and you see a fellow Skipper grad at the bar that you haven't talked to since you graduated. You will have a 10 or 15 minute conversation with that person to be "nice" and then afterward you will say, "Why did I even talk to that person?" How I would've done it was I would've avoided that person or say "don't talk to me." There is a reason I haven't talked to you in ten years, so there is no reason for me to talk to you. I won't be fake and act like I care what you are doing and vice versa for you. Instead of wasting 10 or 15 minutes of my night, I'm going to be productive and sing along to the latest T-Pain song.

"The Cabin"
With Memorial Day coming up this weekend, many people will head up "The Cabin" for the long weekend. If you didn't know, you would think that "The Cabin" is a HUGE cabin in Northern Minnesota that every family goes to for extended weekends. It's kind of like me saying when I lived in NY that "I'm going to the City for the weekend." Everyone knew what I was talking about. I was headed to NYC for the weekend. Here in Minnesota, "The Cabin" could be anywhere at least an hour north of the Twin Cities on one of the "10,000" lakes. It's somewhat of a status symbol to be able to say "I'm headed to the cabin." And no, my family or I don't have a cabin to go to.

Fourth of July
I think the nation's birthday is the biggest holiday in the state. Everyone heads to "The Cabin" and the Twin Cities becomes a ghost town. Unfortunately, I've been stuck here in St. Paul each and every 4th of July. It is like anywhere else?

Snow Emergencies
Here in the city of St. Paul nothing and I mean nothing gets touched during the winter until the city declares a 'Snow Emergency.' The city usually won't declare until after the snow completely stops. That means that my street will not get touched until at least two days after the fact. It drives me nuts. When they do declare one, they will tow or ticket the cars on the street. The worst part about it is that I live about three blocks away from the town of Maplewood and the streets there are cleared right after the snow falls. Plus, with all the snow, it's an accident waiting to happen, especially with all the terrible drivers and the cars parked on the street.

Ricky Rubio
Twolves fans, he will never play for the Minnesota Twolves. He is from Barcelona and has played there for a while where it's warm and sunny all the time. Why would he want to go the a place that snows basically the whole season? I know, it sucks when I'm right. The places I think he wouldn't mind playing for are NY (big market), LA (big market, nice weather), and Miami (big market, nice weather). My guess is that if the Twolves don't trade his rights to teams in those places, he'll just be content on staying in Spain.

Lack of Creativity
Here is my school nickname rant. First I'll go with the Minnesota colleges. St. Thomas Tommies, St. John's Johnnies, St. Olaf Oles, Augsburg Auggies, and Gusatvus Adolphus Gusties. I know, they are very unique names but not creative at all, so if the rest of the conference did the same here is what their nicknames would be with the real ones next to it. Concordia Cordies (Cobbers), Bethel Bethes (Royals), St. Mary's Marys (Cardinals)(best one yet), Carleton Carls (Knights), Macalester Mackies (Scots), and we can't forget the Hamline Hammies (Pipers). Even the high schools join in on the fun. White Bear Lake Bears and Howard Lake-Waverly-Winsted Lakers to name a few. Even a Wisconsin college joined in on the fun with UW-Stevens Point Pointers.

That's all I can think of now, I'm sure there is more and if you have any that you can think of, throw that right in the comment section.

I'll have more on the Bulls-Heat series tomorrow to go along with the Mavs-Thunder game from tonight.